Published: 2021
Genre: Domestic Fiction
Country: Trinidad
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Introduction
I’ve had this book on my TBR for a while and finally decided to pick it up during Read Caribbean Month, as encouraged by @bookofcynz on instagram. And… wow. I don’t even know where to begin. I can’t remember the last time I read a book that made me gasp “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God” chapter after chapter. This book is a page turner. I couldn’t put it down (well, untill the last few chapters where it all became too much).
That said, trigger warning: this novel contains graphic depictions of domestic violence, sexual abuse, and deep emotional trauma. The protagonist just never seems to catch a break.
Book Summary
The book follows the story of Alethea, a Trinidadian woman who has dealt with several bitter blows from life, and continued to do so even in the present as the story was being narrated. Literally. The story is told in a two fold manner – her present circumstances and the story of her childhood. The two are told in a parallel fashion and unfortunately the two are equally devastating. As a child, Alethea suffered domestic violence from her mother, who seemed permanently upset, especially with her and dealt out “licks” generously. Her “uncle” suddenly appears with a baby boy who he asks Alethea’s mother to care for. This was her brother Collin, whom she took to instantly and the two went on to have a very special bond. Meanwhile, whenever he visited, her mothers brother raped her repeatedly, making Althea retreat into herself whenever he was around. As if that was not enough, he gets her pregnant and her mother “beats” the baby out of her – she miscarries. Furthermore as if that was not enough, her uncle gave her a sexually transmitted infection that went untreated and rendered her infertile.
To save her life and a chance to be free from her abusive homelife, Alethea runs away from home at only 17. She makes a life for herself, but in a cruel twist of fate, ends up dating men who abused her. She never finished school, but she loves reading and immersed herself in a book every chance she can get. Alethea makes a career in retail for herself and as she tells her story in the book, she was managing a store. She has done well for herself. However, her current partner, Leo, whom she was living with was also a broken man who broke her every chance he could get, which was often. Leo, a former musician who played in a once popular band was not much anymore. He had no career to speak of, drank alcohol excessively and beat on Alethea so often that her bruises never healed.
Alethea’s co-workers and other people saw her frequent bruises and urged her to leave Leo. But she maintained she was doing no such thing – at least he gave her a home to live in, more than anything any other man had ever done for her. She understands her situation to be complex and as such had no plans of leaving.
Meanwhile, Alethea exercised her power in her own ways. She had an affair of her own with the owner of the store she managed, taking back her own power as she maintained she slept with him not because she had to but because she wanted to. Althea also exercised quiet resistance at home. They lived in Leo’s late parents’ home and Alethea did not lift a finger to maintain it.
What struck me most about Alethea though is her manner and attitude. Alethea took life on the chin. While the unfortunate events in her life victimised her, she did not embrace the victim label. She did not retrieve into herself, she made plans, improved herself – still took great care of her appearance and still did a great job at work. She was still lovely and kind with people and that is strength in its own. Alethea put on a brave front and dealt the cards life gave her squarely.
But at only 40, she was a beautiful woman with so much soul and so much life. Was she going to remain in Leo’s captivity where she might only escape with an end to her life like the woman she witnessed being killed by a jealous lover once? Would her luck finally change and leave Leo? Alethea had a solid support system – people who loved and respected her. Was she going to tap into that system and leave?
Whatever she ended up doing, Alethea reminds us about the complexities of domestic violence. that it’s not always a situation of deciding to leave, there are other factors to be considered. There is also the question of the state of one’s mind too – better the devil you know than the devil you don’t,” rings true in many circumstances. Staying in an abusive relationship is also not always a sign of weakness from the one who stays – as she prodded once in the book – why do we ask the abused to leave and not question the abuser – why is the abuser not the one urged to stop?
Lisa Allen-Agostini’s writing is excellent and she did not hold back in this book. I did however at one particular point wish she did – when she described with such precision Alethea’s rape when she was just a young child. I found that difficult to read, especially as a mother of a girl. I felt sick reading that scene and I feel sick remembering it now as I write this. It was a lot. I had to put the book down for a while and I truly struggled to finish it from then on. I really do not think all of that detail was necessary.
Recommendation
Alethea is a remarkable character warm, grounded, kind. And yet, life is relentlessly cruel to her. Not even her pale, almost white skin spares her.
There is a lot to reflect on in this novel. That said, I would not recommend it to anyone who is sensitive to content involving domestic or sexual violence, especially child sexual abuse.
To others, I recommend it but with a strong trigger warning.
About the Author
Lisa Allen-Agostini is a Trinidadian writer, editor, and stand-up comedian known for her work in journalism, fiction, poetry, and performance. She has published widely in international outlets and is a co-founder of The Allen Prize for Young Writers. Her notable works include the critically acclaimed The Bread the Devil Knead (2021), which was shortlisted for the Women’s Prize for Fiction in 2022, and the young adult novel Home Home (2018). She also writes and performs comedy as part of FemComTT, a feminist comedy group in Trinidad and Tobago. Allen-Agostini’s work explores gender, race, and Caribbean identity with unflinching honesty.
Reference
Allen-Agostini, L. (n.d.). About. Retrieved June 28, 2025, from https://lisaallen-agostini.com/?page_id=2
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